When it comes to Love, most of us are looking for commitment.
Nobody wants to invest years of their life, time, energy, and Love into something that is ultimately going nowhere. You want to invest in a partner that will build a life with you, grow with you, and become closer and more intimate over time. Someone you can create your dreams with.
You've attempted this before and if you're reading this post, it's likely you haven't found what you're looking for. That's to be expected in modern dating culture where it's tough to make an authentic connection with anyone.
You're not alone in this. So many people are having this same challenge but it's not hopeless.
Love is available to you now more than ever.
You're probably wondering if true commitment is even something you should hope for or if seeking it is just a waste of time and energy. The dating world is full of men who want nothing more than a casual hookup and some of them won't even be honest with you about it. How can you realistically expect to find Love in all of this?
It's certainly not the easiest thing to do but despite that, the people we work with are finding Love and true commitment all of the time.
Just as there are men in the world who are only interested in immediate gratification, there are also men who know there's more to life than that and they want a relationship with someone like you--something safe, Loving, and committed.
You are not asking for too much but you may be asking the wrong people in the wrong places. Just because you haven't found that man yet, doesn't mean that he's not out there looking for you right now.
In this post, we're going to share exactly how you find that man and the commitment you're looking for with him.
First, consider: How do you think about men?
We tend to lump men and women into 1 big category with blanket statements like, "Men are like this and women are like that..."
That's a big mistake when it comes to finding Love.
If you think of men as one big category that share the same characteristics, you're going to think that all men are like the men you've known in the past. And if in the past you haven't known the kind of man you want to spend your life with, you're likely to conclude that he doesn't exist.
This is how our belief systems work. We all do this. All the time. With everything.
The problem is that there truly are all different kinds of men and most definitely there is one who is perfectly suited for you. When you think that all men are this way or that way, psychologically speaking, you're only open to entertaining men who fit in with the way you think men are.
For example, let's take one common limiting belief about men. If you say, "Men are only interested in sex," you're going to become hyper-aware of any time a man seems to be interested in you (or someone else) sexually.
If you develop resistance to this idea, i.e. "Men are only interested in sex and that's wrong," not only will you be hyper-aware of it, but you'll also be offended by it.
Then whenever you interact with a man, you look for any evidence of him showing sexual interest. Whenever you find it you say, "See I knew it! All men are only interested in sex."
And when it's not there you say, "I know that's all he really wants anyway."
Then what happens is that whenever you encounter a man who doesn't seem to be interested in sex, you view him as somehow "less of a man" because he doesn't fit the idea you have about how men are.
In addition to that, when you want to attract a man, you'll try to do so through your sexuality because you think that's all he wants anyway. This in turn will tend to attract more men who are only interested in sex, which will only reinforce that belief.
You can see how this cycle perpetuates itself.
Trying to attract men through your sexuality will cause you to over-exaggerate your sexual characteristics and under-exaggerate your personality characteristics, the very things that would make a different kind of man fall in Love with you.
The point is, your ideas about men shape what kinds of men you attract and how you relate to them. If you want a conscious relationship with a committed man, start to think of how that man would be and expect that the men you meet will be like him. More and more you'll start to meet those kinds of men, you'll relate with them differently, and you'll naturally start having more authentic connections.
The 3 kinds of men
Now that we've established that not all men are the same, let's discuss 3 different types of men:
#1 The Bad Boy
The bad boy is characterized as being edgy, adventurous, exciting, unwilling to be tied down, rebellious, mysterious, and troubled. This overall low-level of consciousness is a cocktail of irresistible sexiness to someone who has unhealed emotional trauma to work out.
The allure is that he brings excitement to an otherwise dull existence. If you feel like you're lacking inspiration, getting involved with someone like this is sure to spice things up.
This is the perfect situation for someone who feels unworthy and wants a relationship where they have to try to prove themselves constantly. It's so seductive to find someone who thinks they're troubled, broken, and undeserving of Love and to try to be the person that convinces them otherwise.
If you're with a true "bad boy" though, you will never be enough and over time this relationship will destroy your confidence and self-esteem among other things.
The problem with the "bad boy" is that he tends to be narcissistic and self-absorbed. He is too consumed with his own drama to truly Love or be committed to someone else which is why in relationship with him, you'll always feel unlovable.
#2 The Nice Guy
If you're recovering from a toxic relationship with a "bad boy", you may think that the solution is to find a "nice guy."
The problem with this guy is that he's too vanilla, too eager to please, and he comes off as almost desperate for Love. This level of consciousness is slightly higher than the "bad boy" because he generally understands that he's not the center of the universe and that he should be good to other people.
This man would be likely to want a commitment and with him, you could have a "good" relationship but it would likely be boring to you. He's safe, reliable, dependable, trustworthy, honest, hardworking, and will likely Love you forever. He's just not sexy, adventurous, or exciting.
We find that when a woman tries to Love the "nice guy" because she thinks he's the kind of guy she's supposed to be with, over time she feels unfulfilled by the relationship.
The idea is not to force yourself to want someone you don't but instead to get clear about the kind of man you do want to be with and then elevate your attractions to that level. This is something we teach you how to do in our coaching programs.
#3 The Committed Man
This is the man who's rarely talked about so most women don't even know that he exists. But he does, and when you're looking for True Love and Commitment, this is the guy you're looking for.
In a way, he's the best of both worlds. He has the honor, respect, and integrity of the nice guy while also having the adventure, mystery, and edginess of the bad boy. He's not a pushover but he does Love authentically and deeply. He's not concerned with pleasing you for approval but he is concerned with making you happy.
A common mistake that women make when they encounter a committed man is thinking that he'll respond to games the way a nice guy does. When you try to keep him on the hook or keep him guessing about where you stand, he won't try harder. He'll actually lose interest.
Just as you want someone to be honest about their feelings and direct about their intentions, he'll want the same from you. He's not interested in wasting his time or convincing someone to like him. He's interested in true connection and will quickly get bored with anything else.
How you can make him want commitment
You can't make a man want commitment.
That's something that he has to want for himself. What you can do is find a man who wants commitment and present yourself in a way in which he sees you as the woman who is worth committing to.
You're never going to take the rebellious, troubled, non-committed man and turn him into a family man. He has to grow up. He has to play out all of his childish games until he gets bored with them and decides for himself that he wants something more.
If you get involved with a man like this, you will not become the Love of his life. You will only be one of his childish games and that's not because there's something wrong with you. It's because that's where he is in his life.
He hasn't outgrown that stage yet. It's like trying to get a child to take their $5 bill and invest it. They don't want to invest it, they want to buy a toy with it. Why? Because that's where they are in their life, they want to play. They're not wrong for it, but if you expect them to be different, you'll become incredibly frustrated.
Committed men exist but in the dating world, they're not as obvious as the boys who are out playing games. Why? Because they don't need all that drama in their life. You tend to find committed men in quieter places, small groups of friends and places of learning and growth.
Simply put, you attract a committed man by being a committed woman.
Make a personal commitment to authenticity. Communicate what you're looking for and how you feel. Don't play games under any circumstances and when someone plays them with you, don't engage. Train yourself to see that as a turn-off so you'll quickly lose interest.
Instead of being overly interested in men and dating, become more interested in your passions and things that inspire you. Educate, motivate, and inspire yourself. Following your passion will naturally lead you to places where other people (and men) are doing the same. You'll start to make quality connections with quality people.
In dating, know your standards and challenge men to step up to them. This communicates that you're a person of high value and only interested in someone who is willing to be that also. It ensures that you're not wasting your time with a player who will quickly be intimidated by this.
Above all else, Love and care for yourself in all the ways that you dream your partner will. This gets you used to being treated well and raises your expectations. When you are good to yourself, you expect at least that much from others.
This is an essential and often overlooked part of the dating process.
Whenever you feel that you're forcing something to happen, that should be your sign that you've gotten off track. When you're living an awesome life and allowing connection to happen naturally, nothing is forced.
Coaching with us is about living a fully-expressed and authentic life, a life of passion and purpose that naturally brings you into the right places at the right times, being your best self, and attracting the special someone who is perfect for you.
So if you're done wasting time with what doesn't work, click here to start doing what does.
Thanks for reading. Lots of Love <3
Thank you so much for enjoying our content! Our greatest joy comes from knowing that people like you are using it to transform your lives and relationships and that the world is becoming a better place because of it.
We know the feeling of being alone, of struggling through what seems like an endless series of dead-end relationships, of waiting for the phone to ring, of being rejected and let down again and again.
We know what it's like to go to bed alone each night wondering if that will ever change and fearing that it might not.
We know these experiences all too well and that is why we do the work we do. We want you to know that you can find Love, that the application of these simple tools and practices can make a complete difference in every aspect of your Love life, ultimately leading you to the intimate, loving, lifetime partnership you so deeply crave.
You're not in this alone. We're here for you <3